Perspective

Perspective is a funny thing. It can come to us from many sources. Usually I find it comes at me when I need it and when the rest of my focus seems to be spinning out of control. I have 4 beautiful and healthy children. They are not perfect. I am not perfect. My life is a mess and so far out of my ability to manage right now that I spend far too much time in stressed out panic. I, however, do not have to deal with

This - a life irrevocably altered by a fiery plane crash

or

This - being the mother who has lost her son and grandson given the same name

or

This - having a baby drown in the bathtub on my watch; alive but struggling to survive

or

This - being the daughter of the mother who lost her son and then my own son given the same name.

and suddenly I have perspective. My life is not that bad. My troubles are not that awful. My heart ache is minor. My trials are mine to bear and I have the strength to do it. If they can do it, so can I.

January 4th

Today I am thankful for the ability to figure how to work the creepy crawly on our swimming pool, to stake the windblown trees and fix Jessica's scooter. . .

I really don't want to be thankful I can do these things. . . I really want to be thankful that someone fixed them for me. . . BUT, I guess I am really thankful that I am strong enough and willing enough to try and be resourceful and do so many more things than I really have ever wanted to do.

Recently I was thankful I was strong enough to pack and move and unpack our house and unload 3 pods with some help, but a lot on my own. . . again I wished I just had someone to do it all for me, but again, am grateful I have a healthy, strong body and the umph to take it on and do it myself.

Well, maybe not as grateful as I should be, but grateful nonetheless. . .

New Year's Resolutions

I've never been very good at making or keeping resolutions. I'm good at thinking about them and taking account of the not so stellar bits of my character. This year I've thought a lot and I'm not going to pick on myself so much. I'm going to instead focus on resolutions that I know will bless my life and naturally improve me and those not so stellar bits of my character.

1. Attend the temple at least Monthly. I went January 2nd! Yeah me! I was spiritually uplifted, strengthened and renewed. I will report monthly on my gratitude blog on my progress.

2. Listen to and not question the whisperings of the spirit. It was this whispering that took me to the temple on Saturday. I was prompted to go and then I looked at around at my house and thought of the week ahead and decided I should wait and go after I took the kids to school one day this week and then I thought, no, I was prompted to go today. I went (made it to the very last session of the day) and knew I was meant to be there. It was this whispering that led me to bear my testimony in sacrament meeting yesterday and it is these whisperings that will take my where my Heavenly Father wants me to be and I KNOW that this will lead to greater happiness than I presently know and make me the better person that no number of nit picking resolutions will ever help me to be!

That's it. . . no diet, no promise to write in my journal every day, no ideas of turning my 40 year old body into a super model figure, no swearing off bad days or bad words, no giving up diet Coke (at least for now) and no promises to myself that I probably won't keep. . .

Happy New Year!

154-195 Things I am Grateful For

154. A comfortable and nice home

155. A pool and playground in the backyard

156. Healthy Kids

157. A New Year

158. My bed

159. Advil

160. Hot water in the shower (6 people, 50 gallons, just didn't last!)

161. A dishwasher that works

162. A phone line in my new office

163. Children that still believe

164. My car

165. Gas in my car

166. Food in my fridge, pantry and extra to boot!

167. Freedom

168. My wardrobe (which was in storage for a while!)

169. My own bathroom vanity again

170. Salt City Candles (I just adore them! There aren't any better!) Evergreen, Candy Cane and Pepperberry Wreath at Christmas, Pumpkin Spice in the Fall and Home Sweet Home or Pomegranate the rest of the year!!!

171. My computer

172. My camera

173. My cell phone

174. My Ipod (even though it's a dinosaur!)

175. Christmas Music

176. Weather under 70'

177. My faith

178. My testimony

179. Christmas cards, letters and pictures from friends

180. My health

181. Friends that love me

182. Time spent with family

183. A love of cooking

184. Yummy carmels

185. Peppermint Tea

186. I didn't need anything for Christmas

187. The surprise framed photo of Montana my brother sent me for Christmas

188. School Vacations

189. Each new day to try again

190. Ann John and her family

191. The Garden Lakes Ward

192. The Estrella Hills Ward

193. Our NEW Canyon Trails Ward

194. Elizabeth's late night visit

195. Paula's listening ear