Perspective

Perspective is a funny thing. It can come to us from many sources. Usually I find it comes at me when I need it and when the rest of my focus seems to be spinning out of control. I have 4 beautiful and healthy children. They are not perfect. I am not perfect. My life is a mess and so far out of my ability to manage right now that I spend far too much time in stressed out panic. I, however, do not have to deal with

This - a life irrevocably altered by a fiery plane crash

or

This - being the mother who has lost her son and grandson given the same name

or

This - having a baby drown in the bathtub on my watch; alive but struggling to survive

or

This - being the daughter of the mother who lost her son and then my own son given the same name.

and suddenly I have perspective. My life is not that bad. My troubles are not that awful. My heart ache is minor. My trials are mine to bear and I have the strength to do it. If they can do it, so can I.

January 4th

Today I am thankful for the ability to figure how to work the creepy crawly on our swimming pool, to stake the windblown trees and fix Jessica's scooter. . .

I really don't want to be thankful I can do these things. . . I really want to be thankful that someone fixed them for me. . . BUT, I guess I am really thankful that I am strong enough and willing enough to try and be resourceful and do so many more things than I really have ever wanted to do.

Recently I was thankful I was strong enough to pack and move and unpack our house and unload 3 pods with some help, but a lot on my own. . . again I wished I just had someone to do it all for me, but again, am grateful I have a healthy, strong body and the umph to take it on and do it myself.

Well, maybe not as grateful as I should be, but grateful nonetheless. . .

New Year's Resolutions

I've never been very good at making or keeping resolutions. I'm good at thinking about them and taking account of the not so stellar bits of my character. This year I've thought a lot and I'm not going to pick on myself so much. I'm going to instead focus on resolutions that I know will bless my life and naturally improve me and those not so stellar bits of my character.

1. Attend the temple at least Monthly. I went January 2nd! Yeah me! I was spiritually uplifted, strengthened and renewed. I will report monthly on my gratitude blog on my progress.

2. Listen to and not question the whisperings of the spirit. It was this whispering that took me to the temple on Saturday. I was prompted to go and then I looked at around at my house and thought of the week ahead and decided I should wait and go after I took the kids to school one day this week and then I thought, no, I was prompted to go today. I went (made it to the very last session of the day) and knew I was meant to be there. It was this whispering that led me to bear my testimony in sacrament meeting yesterday and it is these whisperings that will take my where my Heavenly Father wants me to be and I KNOW that this will lead to greater happiness than I presently know and make me the better person that no number of nit picking resolutions will ever help me to be!

That's it. . . no diet, no promise to write in my journal every day, no ideas of turning my 40 year old body into a super model figure, no swearing off bad days or bad words, no giving up diet Coke (at least for now) and no promises to myself that I probably won't keep. . .

Happy New Year!

154-195 Things I am Grateful For

154. A comfortable and nice home

155. A pool and playground in the backyard

156. Healthy Kids

157. A New Year

158. My bed

159. Advil

160. Hot water in the shower (6 people, 50 gallons, just didn't last!)

161. A dishwasher that works

162. A phone line in my new office

163. Children that still believe

164. My car

165. Gas in my car

166. Food in my fridge, pantry and extra to boot!

167. Freedom

168. My wardrobe (which was in storage for a while!)

169. My own bathroom vanity again

170. Salt City Candles (I just adore them! There aren't any better!) Evergreen, Candy Cane and Pepperberry Wreath at Christmas, Pumpkin Spice in the Fall and Home Sweet Home or Pomegranate the rest of the year!!!

171. My computer

172. My camera

173. My cell phone

174. My Ipod (even though it's a dinosaur!)

175. Christmas Music

176. Weather under 70'

177. My faith

178. My testimony

179. Christmas cards, letters and pictures from friends

180. My health

181. Friends that love me

182. Time spent with family

183. A love of cooking

184. Yummy carmels

185. Peppermint Tea

186. I didn't need anything for Christmas

187. The surprise framed photo of Montana my brother sent me for Christmas

188. School Vacations

189. Each new day to try again

190. Ann John and her family

191. The Garden Lakes Ward

192. The Estrella Hills Ward

193. Our NEW Canyon Trails Ward

194. Elizabeth's late night visit

195. Paula's listening ear

127-153 Things I'm Grateful For

127. Christmas (may have already used this!)
128. Turkey on Thanksgiving; along with mashed potatoes, bread, pie, etc., etc.,
129. Cooler Weather
130. Warm Pajamas
131. Christmas Music (not quite but 5 more day!)
132. Friends who make me spaghetti pie, pasta salad and buttermilk pies, just cause.
133. Crafts
134. Creativity
135. Blogging
136. Paper Craft Planet
137. CTMH Friends
138. My Paper CraftClass Members
139. Jen
140. Lois
141. Cindy
142. Tamara
143. Technology
144. Park Days
145. Costco
146. Long Enough Pants
147. Long Enough Sleeves
148. Shoes that fit
149. My Camera
150. Colors
151. My Mom
152. Homeschool
153. Too much to do

Estrella Hills Ward Christmas Party 2007

Make a Smilebox slideshow

A Letter Received

While some of this is sad, the letter touches my heart and I want to keep it forever. (I did not edit spelling, punctuation or grammar. . . this is as written.)

Dear Mom,

Today at grandma's house we were trying to pick a movie, and all the ones Wyatt or Walker wanted to watch Lyndsee said No. She took the movie case because they weren't picking the movie fast enuph. She said she was going to pick. Lyndsee put in Spider-Man 3. I told he over and over agien that we are not alowed to watch PG-13 movies but all she did was say your mom's rules are so stupid. I told Wyatt and Walker to come play with there bouncie balls with me but they wanted to watch Spider-Man. I went in Lyndsee's room and was watching disney channel with Jessica, then Jessica left to tell Lyndsee she wanted to watch Bratz. Lyndsee told Jessica to ask me if I wanted to watch it too, I told Jessica it was not a good movie. But she watched it anyway. Lyndsee came in to her room and told me not to be rude to people. I said "what do you meen?" She said Jessica said I was yelling at her. I said no I didn't. She said get out of my room. I said fine, I'll go sit in the living room and clean out my purse. Instead I'm writing this to you.

Mom, I'm trying to CTR (choose the right). It is so hard and all I've been doing is crying. I want to be like Jesus and I'm trying so hard. I love you so much. Thank you for that FHE lesson.

Love Mikensee

Just recently we had a Family Home Evening Lesson on what to do if certain circumstances were to arise. In a sense we practiced what to do instead of just telling the kids to choose the right. We role played what to do if they were at a friend's house and the friend wanted to watch a bad movie or look at bad books and such. We even talked about what to do at Grandma's (which unfortunately has been an issue before with 2 grown adults and 3 almost grown teens living there watching and doing whatever they want with no regard to how their behavior looks to little kids). We talked about how to say no to drugs and alcohol and even what to do if a friend was stealing or doing other bad behaviors. Clearly Mikensee got the lesson. It may not have solved the problem and it was hard for her clearly by the letter, but she didn't back down and she remained in the living room without a TV the entire time. I'm really proud of her and I'm thankful to be raising my kids with standards and morals in a world without any. I'm still sad that they have to endure it from our own family, but this is real life, which is why I had the lesson in the first place. I'm also sad that my children's innocence really isn't innocent, but they will know what to do and how to do it so hopefully they won't become victims to a moral-less society that thinks so little of itself that it can't think to shelter the innocent kids. I'm thankful today for Family Home Evening. I'm thankful today for a little slogan called CTR. I'm thankful today that I've tried to teach my kids right. I'm thankful today that I'm choosing to teach my kids right from wrong, even when it's hard. I'm thankful for a letter that tells me my daughter "gets" it.

Being the Mom

Mother's Day is tomorrow and I guess it's only natural to have feelings of gratitude for the privilege of being a mom on Mother's Day, but truly, every day, even those that are hard, my gratitude for being the mom is so strong it almost overwhelms me. I have been truly blessed with 4 beautiful children who are all amazing, beautiful children. I feel incompetent and inferior at the responsibility of raising them and hopefully aiding them at becoming all their potential affords them.

I am a mother inspite of me and I am only me because I am a mother.

Life and Health

If you read my Ink Boutique Blog you know that I've been struggling to keep my head above water. Most days I find myself surviving instead of living . . . I want to start living this life I've been blessed with instead of cleaning or just surviving it.

Today I'm thankful that I'm not satisfied with the way things have been going. I'm thankful the my Heavenly Father keeps calling to me to make changes even thought their hard and uncomfortable and I have a really hard head!

I'm also thankful for life and health. Both of these are precious gifts. Ones I sincerely need to spend a lot more time appreciating and using than just coasting on.

I think I'll go take a nice hot bubble bath (alone because it's almost 2AM and everyone but me is asleep!) Seeing as until the past 2 weeks I've not had the twins sleep through the night in almost 5 years there is a lot to be said for this!

By the way, I'm really grateful for nights cooler than 70', beautiful spring flowers and living in a climate where the sun shines almost every day. The sun is a beautiful thing.

My Stripling Warriors

Is it possible for someone as ordinary as me to raise up a mighty generation unto the Lord? I've read about the Strippling Warriors and the scripture that simply states that their mother's taught them, but can it really be that simple?

On Sunday I had a glimpse that it just may be so. Easter was coming to a close. We'd had a long week and I had little sleep for several days. I wanted, before Easter was over, to have a little spiritual depth with my kids about Easter. We went to church, but I wanted just a little bit more. I chose the movie The Lamb of God. We've seen it before, but this year my kids were riveted. I understand that Mikensee (now 11) may have more interest, but Wyatt and Walker are 4 and they just couldn't take their eyes off it. Jessica asked questions, all 4 of them had moist eyes. When Walker said to me that he didn't know why they would hurt Jesus and that it made him cry, I felt, for a moment, that maybe, just maybe, just teaching them can garner the results I'd like to see. . .Valiant spirit sons and daughters who look like Christ, preach of Christ and testify of Christ. . . that they might be like the Armies of Helaman, the Strippling Warriors who fought for life, liberty and their freedom to believe in Christ. And my kids in a day and age where their belief in Christ may be the only thing that gets them through.

For this moment, this day, this time with my kids I am thankful.

116-126 Things I'm Grateful For

116. Spring
117. Screens on Windows
118. 80' Weather
119. Tasty Necks (my kids getting neck gobbled)
120. Spontaneous Laughter
121. Health
122. Green Grass
123. Modern Medicine
124. Seasonal Chocolates. . .Can I have some Cadbury Eggs Please???
125. Simple Traditions; Easter Egg Coloring
126. Moments with My Family

110-115 Thing I'm Grateful For

110. Spring
111. Easter
112. Easter Hymns
113. Ability to Play the Piano
114. Love of Singing
115. Mikensee Practicing the Piano

A Litte More Daily

Every day before I go to bed I try and think of something I've been thankful for through the day. It isn't hard and usually many things flood my mind. I need to make posting those things a little more daily. . .

Today I'm thankful that I am home with my kids each day. I'm not always thankful for this blessing, but a blessing it is, even when I'm not thankful. I know that being with them all the time is hard, but it is good and I'm never going to regret these days. Today I got to see Mikensee learning about the constitution and Jessica adding and subtracting two digit numbers. We also got to have a field trip right at our door. You can read about that at the ink boutique. There is always something every day, but today I'm thankful that I simply choose to be home.

January 30

I am thankful for the inspired visting teaching program. While imperfect are those who carry out its charge, the program is as perfect as it gets. I'm thankful to know that there are people on whom I can call in times of need and that sometimes they know I'm in need without a call. I'm thankful to be one whom others can call and for my sincere desire to carry out my responsibility as a visiting teacher. I'ts hard to explain the path that brought me here as I've not until recently had regular visiting teachers. I was prepared, though, with years of inactivity to be willing to reach out to those I don't know or don't know well because they just might need me. I'm also greatful that today I listened and was just there for the sister who needed to hear from me today.

January 29

I am most thankful for my testimony of the gospel. Where would I be without it? Several of the things I've seen and read today are so utterly scary that without faith and my testimony of the gospel I would be sure there is no hope for the future. I know Jesus Christ lives. I know he will come again and I know that all will be well.

January 27

I thank the O' God for a prophet to guide us in these latter days. At 7PM the world lost one very good man; Gordon Bitner Hinckley. I am so thankful to have spent 12 years hearing and reading his words. His life has strengthened mine and helped me in more ways than I can express. Knowing him has been like having the Savior walking on earth with me. Although not a perfect man, he was a close as this world has ever seen, excepting the Savior. I know that we will not be without a living prophet and I look forward to getting to know and love a new one who no doubt the Lord has prepared for times as they are. But for now, I am thankful for one Gordon B. Hinckley:









Prophetic Passing



I imagine he's running to Marjorie now,

Yes, running, not waving his cane.

I see him embracing his father and mother

While they keep repeating his name.



I see him now meeting his forebears,

Brother Brigham and Joseph are there.

Sweet reunion of prophets, united by service

That only such noble men share.



I see him embraced by the Savior

While Father says, 'Good and well done.

So faithful in stalwart endurance, I welcome

My noble, most excellent son.'



I then hear the ripples of laughter

As he says the reception's just fine,

But he hopes that he'll get an assignment or two

Since there's no need to waste any time.



I can hear his clear voice in the stillness

At the close of this sweet Sabbath day,

Have faith and move forward — there's work to be done.

President Hinckley would want it that way.



Anna M. Molgard

January 27, 2008

101-109 Things I'm Grateful For

101. Advil
102. Modern Medicine
103. Crockpots
104. Microwaves
105. Microwave Popcorn
106. Hot Baths
107. Ice
108. Seasons
109. Rain

January 23

I am thankful that my kids still love me. I know there will likely be a day when they don't, but today, even though I got mad, had to reprimand them and we didn't have a particulary peaceful or terrific day, I still received a hug or two and even a "Mom, I like you" from Jessica and a "Mom, you're beautiful from Walker" and a sweet neck nuzzle from Wyatt. Mikensee usually still hugs me at least once a day and I'm pretty sure she did today too. I'm going to try and remember these moment more and take note of them. Love is a really good thing to have my life. I'm sure there is more of it than I let myself see, but I'm going to try and see more of it.

First 100 Thanks List

1. My kids
2. My life
3. My home
4. My health
5. My mom
6. My husband
7. Piano
8. Good Food
9. Abundance
10. Warmth
11. Sunshine
12. Diet Coke
13. Babies
14. Socks
15. Pajamas
16. Hot Showers
17. A Washer and Dryer
18. Running Water
19. A Refrigerator
20. Chocolate
21. Telephones
22. Computers
23. Cameras
24. Scrapbooking
25. Papercrafts
26. Pets
27. Manicures and Pedicures
28. Flowers
29. Color
30. My sight
31. Touch
32. Love
33. Cars
34. TV
35. Magazines
36. Wireless Internet
37. Games
38. Birthdays
39. Scriptures
40. Church
41. A Living Prophet
42. Sunday
43. Friday
44. Saturday
45. Mountains
46. Trees
47. Restaurants
48. Grocery Stores
49. Shoes that fit
50. Pants that have a 37+" inseam
51. Cozy Sweats
52. Garage Door Openers
53. Blogs
54. Friends
55. An Eye for Beauty
56. A warm bed
57. Freedom
58. Speech
59. Twins
60. Adoption
61. Child Birth
62. Singing
63. Christmas
64. Vacations
65. 4th of July Parades
66. Jesus Christ
67. Blue Skies
68. Air Conditioning
69. Memories
70. Long arms
71. Smiles
72. Happy Mail
73. Presents
74. Power/Electricity
75. Books
76. Paper/Pencils
77. Scissors, Rulers, Paper Trimmers, Glue
78. Clocks
79. Airplanes
80. DVD's
81. Gum
82. Toothbrushes and Toothpaste
83. Shampoo, Soap and Conditioner
84. email
85. Seat Heaters
86. Indoor plumbing
87. Chocolate Chip Cookies
88. Homemade Carmels
89. Camping
90. Swimming Pools
91. Sugar Cookies
92. Holidays
93. 3 Day Weekends
94. Calls from Friends
95. Temples
96. Lip Gloss
97. Lotion
98. Perfume
99. Variety
100.Vacumn Cleaners

January 22

I am thankful today that although our microwave malfunctioned and I had to call a serviceman, our house did not burn down or catch fire because it could have. I'm also glad that I get a new microwave for $165 v. $450 because I was never that thrilled with the original which always looked a bit old to me right from new . . . 2 years ago. I'm being grateful because although it's a pain not to have a microwave for going on 5 days now with at least 5-7 business days yeat ahead, we could be without a house or even stuck with a $75 service call fee and still have to buy and re-install a microwave at cost. So today a broken microwave feels like a blessing to me.

January 21

Today I am most thankful for Mikensee and her her birth which I did not deserve, but have been immeasurably blessed by. Thank you Heavenly Father for sending her to me inspite of me.